Tourniquet
by Draconian Eyes
Summary: Songfic to Evanescence's 'Tourniquet'. Jounouchi feels betrayed by two of his friends, and tries to kill the pain inside, but only brings more.... {Warnings: ANGST, slight self-mutilation, rampant OOC-ness, shounen-ai, KeithXJou}


Disclaimer: The song _Tourniquet_ belongs to Evanescence. Characters belong to Kazuki Takahashi. I think we all know the drill by now.

Author's Notes/Rants: Ever since I heard this song, a story like this was just begging to be written. I've seen a lot of fics on the 'Net that involve a character cutting him/herself. _And nothing irks me more when the character **enjoys** the pain._ I cut myself once before and it hurt like hell. Masochists that enjoy _that_ much pain are extremely hard to find (the only two in YGO that I think would like it would be Yami no Bakura and Yami no Malik), so if anyone gets ideas from this or any other fic, or maybe this song, please try to be respectful of me and the thousands of other people who have hurt themselves with a blade. Don't make someone enjoy it. Thank you. *gets off her soapbox and gives everyone cookies*

**_!!!!Warnings!!!!:_** angst, blood, angst, self-mutilation, angst, shounen-ai, angst, rampant OOC-ness, Bandit KeithXJounouchi (Now who didn't see THAT one coming? o^.~o) And did I mention angst?

**Tourniquet**

            Pain raced through him as he ran the blade over his skin, hard enough to draw blood but not enough to cause any serious damage. Jounouchi Katsuya sobbed and trembled as he slowly drew the blade of a razor over his own left arm, the pain unbelievable but he wasn't about to stop. There was just too much pain and sorrow inside of him that was screaming to get out, and this was the only way he knew how to let it. And it hurt. A lot. But he couldn't stop.

_I tried to kill my pain,_

_But only brought more.___

_(So much more)_

            He sobbed harder and ran the small razorblade over his arm once more, creating a fifth mark. Blood quickly welled to the surface and beaded there, and finally he dropped the blade and doubled over with a small whimper, tears coursing down his cheeks. He pressed the side of his face against the carpet and cried as hard as he could, wrapping his arms around himself and not caring that the blood was smearing onto his white t-shirt.

_I lie dying, and I'm pouring_

_Crimson regret and betrayal_

            It hurt. It hurt so badly. And the pain inside hadn't faded a bit. Only a week before, Honda and Anzu had abandoned him, all because of someone he'd fallen in love with. He'd been fine for a little while, but slowly the feeling of missing two of his best friends overcame him. And now he was curled up and sobbing on the living room floor of his lover's apartment, where he stayed most of the time, blood smearing on his arms and a razor blade four inches away from him. It hurt. It hurt, it hurt, it _hurt_.

_I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming_

_Am I too lost to be saved?  
Am I too lost?_

            In the back of his mind he heard the lock on the front door rattling as he shifted to curl up on his side, arms still wrapped tightly around his waist. He whimpered and hiccupped pitifully, not even noticing the sound of the door opening and closing again. However, he did notice the sound of his lover's gasp and his voice, though what exactly he said was lost on Jounouchi. The teen didn't speak much English.

            Suddenly arms were around him and he was being held tightly, a hand tipping up his chin so he was looking into the blue eyes of his lover.

            "Jounouchi, are you alright?? Say something, please just say something...."

_My God, my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation._

_My God, my tourniquet,_

_Return to me salvation._

            The blue eyes belonged to none other than 'Bandit' Keith Howard. He'd found the older blonde after the fire in the warehouse, just before Battle City, and had taken care of him for a while, and ended up sleeping with him. In return, once the American had won a few dueling tournaments with large sums of money as the prize, he had gotten a place to stay and a devoted lover. Keith wasn't the most social person, but to the people he did like (which was a very limited few), he was affectionate, caring, and even a little protective.

            "Jounouchi!!"

            The sound of his voice brought the broken young man out of his reverie and he managed to whimper out the other's name before breaking down into another fit of sobs, clinging to the American and burying his face into his chest. Said American immediately wrapped his arms tighter around the boy, murmuring soothingly to him and stroking his hair.

            "Shh...it's okay, Jounouchi....it'll be alright...."

_Do you remember me?_

_Lost for so long.___

_Will you be on the other side,_

_Or will you forget me?_

            "It won't...." Jounouchi murmured, his voice choked and strained with tears. He wouldn't let the other pull away to look at him at that statement and simply clung tighter to him, still crying hard. "I'm sorry...."

            "Jounouchi....what are you sorry about? I'm not angry or anything...." Keith murmured to him, pressing a soft kiss to the boy's silky blonde hair.

            "I...I don't know...I just...." the smaller blonde's voice trailed off into more sobs and whimpers, his entire body shaking now.

_I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming_

_Am I too lost to be saved?_

_Am I too lost?_

_My God, my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation._

_My God, my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation._

            "...I did this...I did it to myself...." he murmured after a few moments of crying, trying to burrow deeper into Keith's shirt. The taller blonde stayed silent at that, pulling his lover impossibly closer and rubbing his back soothingly.

            "....I won't ask why....so you don't have to tell me. It'll be okay, Jounouchi...."

_(Return to me salvation...)_

_(I want to DIE!)_

            "No it won't! I wanna die!!" Jounouchi all but screamed into the fabric of the other's shirt, sobbing harder than ever. He squeaked quietly when he was roughly pulled out of the other blonde's embrace, now held by the shoulders with Keith looking seriously into his eyes.

            "Don't ever say that. Ever. Nothing is bad enough that you should take your own life, alright?" he said sternly, though his voice was more concerned than harsh. The younger blonde couldn't help but nod weakly, and shivered a little as he was pulled back into the warm embrace, a soft kiss placed on his lips.

_My God, my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation._

_My God, my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation._

            Jounouchi hiccupped slightly when the kiss ended and cuddled closer to Keith, resting his face in the curve of his neck.

            "I'm sorry....my tourniquet...." he whispered, his voice almost inaudible. He was rapidly losing strength now and the world was beginning to darken before his eyes. With a few more shuddering breaths, he drifted into unconsciousness, still leaning against the older blonde.

_My wounds cry for the grave,_

_My soul cries for deliverance._

_Will I be denied?_

_Christ, tourniquet, my suicide_.

            Keith blinked when he felt the boy go slack against him, a wave of fear passing through him as he pulled back slightly, raising the back of his hand so it brushed against the other's lips. He sighed in relief when he felt soft, even breaths against his skin and gently scooped the smaller blonde into his arms, carrying him towards their shared bedroom. He lay the other out on the covers, brushing a few wayward strands of hair out of his face, and then began to tend to his wounds.

**Fin**

By the way, thank you Kitt-sama for beta-ing this for me. o^.^o *gives her extra cookies*


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